Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Beg My Pardon (And So Can You!)

OK, so every once in awhile, we are forced into retrospection; usually when there is nothing more interesting to occupy our minds. Take for example, the new Man of Steele movie. In spite of my opinion that Superman is the least interesting of all superheroes, the trailer for this reboot is drawing my attention like the Magna Doodle pens do to the little lead beads. But in the absence of new movie trailers, memes, or gossip, usually we are only left with reflection of the past and inquiries of the future, all to avoid dwelling on the present task at hand.
Such is life as the Home Depot water girl. Many people pass me as I water and playfully comment, "wow, that would be a great job to have!" That's what I usually think about teachers or politicians or other hot shots (in Spanish, you'd say 'peces gordos,' which means "fat fish"). Not that I don't enjoy my job, but it is A LOT of water. And it's not particularly brain-stimulating. Which gives me plenty of pondering time. And I could create several blogs over the material that has come to me during these small hours-
But my best water-lation (revelation, but wetter- get it?) thus far came whilst I was in the middle of watering the Jasmine vine plants at the back of the nursery. My mind wandered to a certain someone I know who did some things that are so heinous, it almost leaves your brain numb to think about it. Trust violated, hearts hardened, that kind of jazz. Things that only belong on the worst episodes of Jerry Springer.

So imagine my disdain when this same person, obviously weighed down with imperfections and a hearty dose of stupidity, starts mocking a reality star for their drug abuse frailties. I just couldn't believe it. For me, this person's crimes far outshone what some random famous fool had done. By a long shot. And so... Hello?! Was homie for real? How can someone whose actions have changed the course of several peoples' lives have the colossal nerve to harp on a complete stranger, when said enigma's sins pale in comparison? I was awed, baffled, and really pretty angry.

However, I was still watering, so I was able to meditate over the matter a little more. Then it occurred to me- Oh. My. HELL. I wonder if that's how GOD feels about each and every one of us. To him, we must all seem like perpetual hypocrites. Have you ever had that moment- you have just told someone not to pick their nose in public or to stop incessantly tapping their nails on the table... only to find yourself doing the same thing not much later!  We just can't seem to help ourselves.  A lot of times, we even dedicate our prayers to pointing out how much someone bugged us that day. Well, that could just be me. I figure if  the human race gets a kick out of "The Real Housewives," well, maybe God enjoys his daily dose of drama as well.  Anyway, I read a great little ditty in some other blog/post/article that I don't remember now about how much we all want to be pardoned by the world for "not being perfect," and yet, we ourselves are so slow to forgive the least offenses we perceive have been committed against us.

Ironically enough, right now it's 9:39 at night, and the subject of the pre-recorded episode of "Criminal Minds" that I'm watching focuses on a murderer who chooses his victims based on how their private lives clash with the projected perfection of their public profiles. One of the victims, for example, was a reporter who tattled on the world while secretly growing a stash of pot in her backyard. The plot is a lot more complicated than this, but the point is, the murderer was punishing people in secret (a crime), for other people secretly committing crimes but supposedly going unpunished. So he was hypocritcally killing all the hypocrites. Technically, he should have just been killing everyone then, because almost always, the lives we all portray to the world are not always the ones we are actually living. I guess the best lesson I've learned from both my Depot days (o sea, nights) and my penchant for all things dramatic television is that we are all hypocrites and we all need to go a little easier on each other. Including ourselves. A little pardon goes a long way.

Is this actually gonna happen? Nah. We've been at this for 6,000 years people. Mr. Rogers little village of warm fuzzies wasn't built in a day. Let's just say we're a LOOOOOOOOONG-time work-in-progress. We are critical beings with vitriolic sweetness by nature. But hey, they say recognition and acceptance are the first steps. And what I'm saying ain't new. Guess it'll take a few more such "water-lations" for the message to get through. Oh, well. In the meantime there's denial and a whole smorgasbord of great T.V.

See ya,


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